Start Here…there’s hope I promise

Are you dealing with one, some, or all of these symptoms; fatigue, panic attacks, joint pain, heavy periods anxiety, brain fog, low mood, poor sleep, hot flushes, reduced libido (there’s more!)...

I regularly spend a portion of my time answering questions and hearing from friends and readers, whether here on Substack, on Instagram, or on Facebook. Because it’s what I really needed but never had when I was neck deep in all the symptoms. The messages often sound like this:

“I’m experiencing massive panic attacks, crippling anxiety, I’m so hot all the time and I just can’t seem to focus. Do you think this is perimenopause or just life?”

“I’ve had shingles recently across my eye and head. I feel like I’m drowning in it all — the mental load, my self-care, my bones ache, and I’ve had frozen shoulder for what feels like forever.”

“Do I see a GP or do I need a referral to a gynaecologist? Do you have recommendations for either?”

“WOW! I’m only just starting to look into this. You’re way ahead of me — thank you for replying!”

“Did you try Mirena before other HRT? That’s where they want to send me next.”

“I haven’t had a libido in years and the weight gain is horrific — 30 kg!”

“Did you keep a diary before starting HRT or can you just request it? Is there a ‘Christian Dior’ of HRT or is it all the same? What are you on?”

“I’m so anxious some days. I feel like it’s ruined my career confidence — I change jobs every eight months.”

Are you dealing with one, some, or all of these symptoms, and are you a woman aged between 35 and 50?

• Hot flushes

• Light headed feelings

• Headaches

• Brain fog

• Irritability

• Depression

• Unloved feelings

• Anxiety

• Mood changes

• Sleeplessness

• Unusual tiredness

• Backache

• Joint pains

• Muscle pains

• New facial hair

• Dry skin

• Crawling feelings under the skin

• Less sexual feelings

• Dry vagina

• Uncomfortable intercourse

• Urinary frequency

Maybe, like 30% of Australian women, you’re in the perimenopause or menopause stage of life. Maybe you’ve been blaming your symptoms on work, stress, family life, the economy, or the general chaos of modern living. That’s what I did for years.

But here’s the thing: it might be your hormones. And if it is, you deserve support, understanding, compassion, and relief.

I’ve done the deep dive because I had to. You can read or listen to my Peri story below. But before you do, here’s a snapshot of some of my symptoms, some of which I didn’t even connect to perimenopause until I joined the dots backwards:

• 2am regular wake-ups

• Daytime and middle of the night urinary urgency

• Heavier periods that became longer in duration

• Itchy butt crack and groin — really itchy

• Sore feet — like, really sore, it would feel like walking on glass

• Psoriasis flare-up — so bad my scalp would flake onto my shirt without needing to move my head

• Extremely dry skin after a lifetime of oily skin and scalp

• Panic attacks out of nowhere, including a heaviness on my chest, most of the day

• Loss of joy for life and things I used to love, including exercise

• Extreme fatigue — nothing helped (not coffee, energy drinks, B vitamins, iron, or liver tablets)

• Rapid weight gain around my middle, despite knowing how to eat well

• Social anxiety and general anxiety, not wanting to leave the house, and waking up with a panicked feeling without any reason

• Headaches and migraines

The good news? I have hardly any of these anymore, or they’re a lot milder.

I didn’t want to accept that what I was feeling was my new normal. I wanted to figure out how to function again and rebuild my quality of life.

Sure, I had to come to terms with the fact that I’m no longer in my twenties (the energy! the ambition! the skin, ha!), but I wasn’t going to take this lying down like I had been for far too long.

They say the first symptom of perimenopause is denial.

heyjessblom

A post shared by @heyjessblom

I believe that’s because no one teaches us about it. The menopause chatter is getting louder now, thank goodness, because yes, this is a normal life stage, but it’s not normal to go through it in a society that pretends it doesn’t exist, expects us to manage the unequal load or doesn’t value older women.

hormones.on.the.blink

A post shared by @hormones.on.the.blink

Here’s what I suggest, based on what helped me:

I cannot stress enough the importance of Step 1. Everyone I’ve suggested to do it, after they’ve wondered, been curious or just thought maybe, and how high their score was, even compared to mine. It really gives concrete evidence of exactly what’s going on!

1. Do a symptom scorecard. It gives you solid evidence to take to your GP when you’re asking for solutions. Here’s the Australian version. Everyone I’ve suggested this to has been surprised and assured they’re not going crazy! It helps to see what’s really going on.

2. If your GP or health professional isn’t menopause-informed, find one who is. Or take a friend for backup; it makes a huge difference.

3. If you score above 20, you’re absolutely entitled to discuss HRT (or MHT). Although every woman’s situation is unique, scores of 20-50 are common in symptomatic women. With the right treatment, tailored to you, scores can be reduced to 10 or below in 3-6 months.

4. If your doctor says you’re too young or that you can’t have HRT, find another doctor.

5. HRT does not cause cancer. The latest evidence shows that for most women, it’s a safe and effective treatment. It’s simply replacing the hormones your body no longer produces — and often, it’s natural too.

   allaboutyou_withdrshaunawatts

   

   A post shared by @allaboutyou_withdrshaunawatts

6. Advocate for yourself. No one else will do it like you can. Understanding what’s happening helps you feel more confident doing this.

7. There’s no one-size-fits-all path. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Work out a plan that suits you, your body, your lifestyle, and your needs.

You’re not alone in this. I’m so glad you’ve found your way here.

Please feel free to comment below or send me a message if you have questions. I’m happy to help. I’m no expert, but women sharing their experiences is how I got the relief I so desperately needed.

Some (not all) of my favourite resources, if you feel like deep diving too…

• The podcast that unravelled it all for me after being gaslit by my GP - Maybe it’s Menopause with Dr Louise Newson on The Imperfects

• Louise Newson - her podcast and her educational Instagram

• Dear Menopause Podcast - by the lovely and articulate

  Sonya Lovell
  , a cancer survivor and Australian Menopause and Cancer advocate

• Menopause & Peri-Menopause Australia Facebook group - I learnt so much in this group that helped me understand the language and how to advocate including to have the Symptom Scorecard completed before I even stepped foot inside my GP

• Healthy Hormones Community - A free Australian education and support for health professionals and the public

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