I Joined a Gym 45 Minutes Away So No One Would See Me

How I got my fitness mojo back in perimenopause, one class at a time

In 2020 I literally wrote the book on it. The Body Plan. I coached other women. I had this sorted.

Then 2021 to 2024 happened. Inflammation, panic attacks, and some days, getting out of bed to shower or do the school run was the whole achievement. Everything felt bleak, and I didn’t have the energy to think positively, let alone fix anything. I genuinely thought this was just midlife, and I was looking down the barrel of whatever came next.

Turns out it wasn’t “just midlife”. It was perimenopause, a perfect storm of stress, and nobody joining the dots.

So I rebuilt. Slowly, then all at once. This is how the gym part happened.

Starting again

Two years ago, the same week I began HRT, I felt an almost instant burst of energy. Enough to return to my beloved gym after several years of isolating myself away. So I joined a gym... 45 minutes’ drive away.

Even though I had more energy and was keen to hit the gym, I was also socially anxious about heading back into a place that was once my refuge, where I used to feel so confident. I didn’t look the way I used to look, and I was starting back as a newbie.

I’m ashamed to say I chose a gym 45 minutes away so I wouldn’t see anyone I knew. I had my own program, but because the gym was so far away, the barriers to getting there were higher.

I made it there several times over a month, but eventually I just stopped going.

The friend who got me there

Then one day a friend of mine suggested I come to a local class with her. She knew how I used to train and was sure I’d love it. She promised me the gym wouldn’t be full of perfect athletes, with not a matching crop top set in sight. She was almost correct. I side-eyed her when I spotted a matching twin set as soon as we walked in, ha!

The coaches were amazing, and the class was perfect for me, with the ability to work at your own level. So I was sold. I cancelled my other gym membership and committed to one day a week at this class.

My fitness level was still beginner, and I wanted to commit to something that would be easy not to fail at. One day a week, at the same time, was a non-negotiable, and I didn’t let anything stop me from going to that one class.

Is one class a week enough?

Well, it’s better than none, right?

I was looking at this as a long-term plan. I wanted to add my new behaviours incrementally, so I wouldn’t overwhelm myself and then give up on them all. This was a way for me to habit stack and not fail.

After six weeks, my body and capacity were ready for a second class a week. Again, I chose a time I knew I could put in my calendar and that nothing would impact. Around the three-month mark, I added a third class, and a month later another one. So every week I was committed to three to four strength sessions.

Six months after starting strength workouts at the gym, I added running into the mix. I’m still a beginner runner. I aim to run one to three times a week, but if I had to choose, my priority is my strength sessions.

Why I’m still there 18 months later

Now, I know I can train more effectively on my own with my own program, and I have a pretty good home gym set-up. But the reason I’ve kept going to this gym 18 months later is the community.

Fitness and working out isn’t always enjoyable. But it’s easier to show up when you’ve got great coaches and gym pals depending on you to show up with them. Plus, our Saturday sessions are almost always followed by a yummy gym buddy breakie, which I look forward to all week.

Conditions aren’t perfect

I posted this on my stories the other day, and it’s still true:

Nobody gets perfect conditions. I definitely didn’t.

Where I am now

So here I am, still working out, still not at my ultimate goal, but happy with where I am compared to two years ago, and I could be happy to stay here with the amount of effort I can sustain.

On Saturday I hip thrusted 110kg x 3, and then I went for a Sunday run.

My DEXA scans show my visceral fat is now at an “optimal level”, where it used to be “increased risk”. My bone density is above average for my age, which is where I hope to keep it, so I reduce my risk of frailty injuries in older age as my estrogen declines.

I am now locking in with my training, with more intenional progressive overload, being more vigilant with my nutrition targets including decent amount of protein to feed my muscles, and eating enough to fuel my more intense workouts and help with my recovery. I’m eating and training like a QUEEN!

If you’re in the bleak bit right now, it’s not the end of your story. I never thought I’d get here either.

What’s helped you feel more like yourself again? Tell me in the comments.

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If you want to read more I share it all in my guide Choose Yourself

You didn’t lose yourself. Perimenopause just made you invisible to yourself.

Choose Yourself is the guide I wish I’d had. Everything I researched, tested, and lived through: four DEXA scans, hormone optimisation, and finally understanding what a midlife body actually needs.

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