I got my body back. Then I lost my style completely. Now I have a template.
Session two with my stylist, the viral jeans post, and why dressing for midlife is nothing like what we were taught
There's a specific kind of disorientation that nobody talks about in midlife. You've done or are doing the work. Maybe you've lost weight, or started exercising properly, or finally got your hormones sorted. You look in the mirror, and something is better.
But something else feels... off.
Your clothes don't quite fit the person you're becoming.
You grab the same things you always have, and they feel wrong, but you don't know why, and you definitely don't know what to replace them with. That low-grade style paralysis? Completely normal. Also completely fixable. This post is for you if you're somewhere in that in-between
If you missed my first post about Jade from The Seasonal Stylist (sidenote: she’s an ex-Chiropractor, so if anyone knows bodies, she does, and she’s just pivoted from one form of healing to another), the short version is this: I discovered I’m a True Autumn, had something of a colour epiphany, and promptly fell down a very satisfying rabbit hole. Classic me.
Well. I went back.
And honestly, Jade made it inevitable. She’d been posting these incredible before-and-afters of celebrities, same person, same body, completely different impact depending on whether they were dressed to their lines or not. I became invested in each post.
Obsessed.
Then my own jeans post went semi-viral, and half the internet spent a week arguing that the photos were AI-generated, two outfits, days apart, same body, completely different story.
That was the moment I thought, okay. I need to understand what is actually happening here, because clearly, there is a science to this, and I have been operating without it for 49 years. With a wardrobe overhaul well overdue and almost-50 on the horizon, I booked session two.
First, a quick confession
Can I be honest about something? Losing weight over the past 18 months has been brilliant for my health and energy. But no one warned me that it would also come with this strange, untethered feeling around my own image. Like, I got my body back but lost my style compass in the process.
It actually reminded me a lot of how I felt postpartum. You look in the mirror and think, okay, I know this person... but also, who ARE you right now?
With almost 50 on the horizon, I decided this was the moment to build something intentional. Not a wardrobe I’d assembled by accident or desperation, but one that actually makes sense for who I am now, in this body, at this stage.
Enter: session two with Jade.
The Kibbe system
So Jade works with the Kibbe body typing system, which goes well beyond the “are you an apple or a pear” stuff we’ve all been served for decades. It looks at your bone structure, your flesh, your overall lines, and works out how clothing can honour all of that rather than fight it.
I discovered am a Flamboyant Natural. My essence is Classic.
Flamboyant Natural, for those playing at home, is all about relaxed, flowing, slightly undone energy. Natural fabrics, easy silhouettes, nothing too fussy. And Classic essence means I actually crave order, structure and elegance underneath all of that. (Anyone who has seen my spreadsheets will not be surprised.)
The combination of these two, apparently, is why I feel most like myself in a well-cut linen shirt and quality jeans, rather than anything overly embellished or trend-driven. Good to have confirmation that my instincts weren’t completely off, and now I know how to shop best.
The jacket moment
Please don’t judge the under angle - my most flattering yet hehe
Here is where I had a genuine revelation, and also felt mildly betrayed by everything I thought I knew.
I have always assumed I should wear cropped jackets. Waist-length. Classic hourglass logic, right? Stop at the smallest point, emphasise the waist, done.
Wrong.
For a Flamboyant Natural, the right jacket length is either to the hip/upper thigh or all the way to the ankle. Cropped cuts off the vertical line and breaks the easy, elongated look that actually flatters my proportions.
I have been shortening my line for years with the best laid intentions.
The same goes for skirts and pants. Either mini or floor length. Midi? A hard no. Midi cuts me off right where I don’t want to be cut off.
This is why I favour bike shorts or full-length leggings with my activewear, and when I do wear my cropped leggings, I feel stumpy.
I walked out of that session and immediately looked at my wardrobe with new eyes. Some things passed the test. Others did not.
Op-shopping with a plan (a very Classic Essence thing to do)
This weekend I ended up at a charity shop event. One of those overwhelming, everything-is-everywhere affairs that normally would have me walking out empty-handed and mildly stressed.
This time? I had a framework. I knew what I was looking for. Relaxed silhouettes, natural fabrics, the right lengths, my True Autumn palette. I moved through that shop with actual confidence and came home with pieces I love.
That felt significant.
A message that made me smile
A friend reached out after her own session with Jade (she coincidentally had her session immediately after mine). She’s a completely different shape and essence.
She had shared that she was very keen to try the jeans I had purchased after seeing my viral post.
”I was talking about your jeans post, actually, and how I was looking to get those Kmart high-waisted jeans (never worn high-waisted in my life, actually), but I thought I’d hold off until I had my session, and Jade said they were wide-leg, so not in my scope. I’m glad I waited”
Yes. Exactly that.
What’s next
I’m now weeks out from a trip to New Zealand, which is possibly the most motivated I have ever been to go charity shopping with a printed checklist. With cooler weather than I’ve experienced in a long time, which means layers, knitwear, and all the earthy autumn tones I’m now fully licensed to wear.
My ADHD brain is, predictably, in full deep-dive mode. I’m researching Kibbe. I’m rewatching Essence explainers. I’m standing in front of my wardrobe making decisions with actual reasoning behind them instead of just grabbing whatever feels fine.
It feels like building something. A blueprint, almost. One that will outlast trends and serve me as I move through this next chapter.
And honestly? That’s exactly what I needed.
Have you done any colour or body-type analysis? I’d love to know. Drop it in the comments below.
The wardrobe rebuild is just one piece. The bigger project, the one I wrote a whole book about, is rebuilding your entire life with intention in midlife. Health, habits, identity, all of it. Choose Yourself is that book. Link below.
