Executive Function: The Brain’s CEO Who Just Quit Without Notice
You're Not Lacking Motivation—You're Lacking Understanding (and Maybe a Working Memory). How to help at work, home and with relationships.
The Peridivergence Project
This post is part of The Peridivergence Project, my new Wednesday paid weekly series exploring the messy, fascinating intersection of perimenopause and neurodivergence—with curiosity, humour, and a healthy dose of Surely it’s not just me. (Spoiler: it’s not.)
Ever feel like your brain is running a one-person circus—without a ringmaster? One minute, you’re hyperfocused on something random (like researching the exact best storage solution to help you get on top of your home organisation), and the next, you can’t remember why you walked into the kitchen.
That, my friend, is the magic (or mayhem) of executive function. And if you’ve got ADHD, or if you’re wading through the fog of perimenopause, let’s just say your brain’s management team is chronically understaffed.
What Even Is Executive Function?
Think of executive function as your brain’s management system—the part that helps you plan, prioritise, and actually do the things you intend to do. It’s responsible for:
Planning & Organisation – Deciding what needs to be done and in what order.
Working Memory – Holding information in your mind long enough to use it (like remembering why you opened that 17th browser tab).
Task Initiation – Getting started without needing sheer panic as motivation.
Time Management – Estimating how long things take (spoiler: if you have ADHD, this is always wrong).
Impulse Control – Stopping yourself from blurting out something inappropriate or making a “quick” purchase that turns into a $400 splurge.
Emotional Regulation – Managing big emotions before they spill over in inconvenient ways.
When executive function is working, life feels (mostly) manageable. When it’s not? Welcome to the land of missed deadlines, forgotten birthdays, and half-finished projects that haunt you like tiny ghosts.
ADHD and Executive Dysfunction: The Struggle is Real
If you have ADHD, executive function challenges aren’t just an occasional inconvenience; they’re daily life.
Starting tasks feels impossible – Even things you want to do can feel like wading through wet cement.
Time is a mystery – There’s either now or not now, which is why everything gets done in a high-stress last-minute frenzy.
Hyperfocus hijacks your day – You either can’t focus at all or you’re so locked in that you forget to eat, pee, or answer texts for eight hours.
Lists don’t always help – Because the second you write something down, your brain thinks it’s done and promptly forgets it exists.
Now, just when you think you’ve got a handle on your unique brand of chaos, perimenopause enters the chat.
Perimenopause: Turning Executive Dysfunction Up to Eleven
Perimenopause is the prelude to menopause, when hormones (especially estrogen) start fluctuating wildly. Since estrogen helps regulate dopamine, and dopamine is already low in ADHD brains, this means:
Brain fog reaches new heights – If you thought ADHD made you forgetful before, perimenopause takes that and says, “Hold my wine.”
Focus goes out the window – You start a sentence and… wait, what were we talking about?
Mood swings intensify – Emotional dysregulation on top of hormonal shifts? Absolute carnage.
Sleep goes downhill – And when you don’t sleep, executive function takes an even bigger nosedive.
Essentially, perimenopause doubles down on every ADHD symptom you already struggle with. And yet, most doctors either don’t connect the two or just chalk it up to “getting older.”
So, what do you do when your brain refuses to cooperate and the world expects you to function anyway?