Why I stopped reading self development books

Hey friends, it's been a hot minute.

Last week, we finally moved into our new home. I love my new home! We all love our new home. I finally have the kitchen island I have always dreamed of. I think (and hope!) this will be our base for quite a while now.

It’s been exhausting—weeks of keeping our home immaculate for multiple open homes and then the move itself—physically and mentally—but despite the chaos, I’m feeling a deep sense of contentment.

We’re still living out of boxes and haven’t quite said goodbye to our old place yet so the next few weeks will be a whirlwind. But I know that once we’re settled, it will all have been worth it.

I’ll share more about the move later, but first…

For years, I was deep in the trenches of self-development, business books and even some programs. I eagerly devoured every new release, hoping to unlock the secrets to becoming a better version of myself. My bookshelf (and audible) was a shrine to every life hack, success strategy, and motivational mantra I could find, and I lived and breathed the advice that promised to lead me to a better, more fulfilled life. I couldn’t go for a walk without uploading the latest podcast or audiobook, which would be the one to really change my life.

But after a while, something shifted.

I started feeling overwhelmed and not inspired. I realised that constantly consuming content about how to improve myself was making me feel… well, less than. It’s as if the underlying message was that who I was at that moment wasn’t enough. And that notion, despite the noble intention of self-betterment, started to weigh on me.

Here’s the thing: self-improvement is important, but when you’re endlessly reading about how to become a better person, what is that telling you? That you’re not good enough as you are? That there’s always something wrong that needs fixing?

At some point, it became too much. I started to trust that the right content, the right information, and the right guidance would come to me as I needed it rather than feeling the need to force them down my throat every waking moment. Life has a way of presenting us with the lessons we need when we need them, and I began to lean into that trust.

Of course, I still read self-development books, but not at the pace I used to and typically now, only in response to a direct or immediate need or out of the pure joy of reading about another’s true life experience. Hell, I wrote a self-improvement book, The Body Plan, so I believe there is a time and place and need for such books, as I have benefited from many.

So, I put down the self-help books. I stopped looking for the next big thing that would change my life and started to look within, trusting that I already had most of what I needed. And you know what? It was liberating. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I no longer felt the pressure to constantly be ‘on the way’ to somewhere better. Instead, I started to appreciate where I was, right here, right now.

I wonder if this has resonated with you or if you have some insights to share about this topic.

Until next time,

Robyn