Unapologetic Self-Acceptance

Embracing the woman within

“If you can understand yourself, it helps you, being understood. I understand myself alot more than I ever have, but less than tomorrow.” Andre Agassi, American former world No. 1 tennis player

When was the last time you fully embraced every aspect of yourself? In a world obsessed with productivity, wealth, and enlightenment, it's hardly surprising that many of us feel exhausted. The double-edged sword of social media presents a constant barrage of highlights from others' lives, leading us down the path of endless comparison.

It's understandable, though, why most shy away from airing their struggles online; it rarely makes for engaging content. Yet, there's a certain solace in discovering others grappling with similar issues, even if it doesn't capture widespread attention.

Approaching my 40’s nearly seven years ago, a dear friend welcomed me to the era of "giving no fucks." I laughed, eager to embrace this newfound liberation, but it proved elusive at first. It's only now, as I edge closer toward my fifth decade, that I genuinely begin to feel a shift.

This transition seems less about indifference and more about a deeper connection to my authentic self, appreciating my unique value and essence. Amidst the barrage of targeted content dictating how life should unfold, despite appreciating the importance of growth, self-improvement, and learning from our errors, perhaps it might be time to pause and celebrate our true selves, recognising our strengths rather than fixating on our weaknesses. 

What formula or blueprint works for one person may not actually work for oneself. And this is such a powerful reflection to have. Owning your own true needs and identity and not trying to fit into someone else’s prescription of what makes a perfect life/business/body etc. No one has lived the life you’ve lived or experienced the experiences you’ve had to make you, YOU.

Also, trying to change oneself to be more likeable or fit in. As a kid who went to 11 schools, I learnt very quickly the only way to survive was to learn how to ‘fit in’, and that required a lot of identity shifting from coastal surf towns to country communities to inner city R&B-loving high schools. It’s no wonder I’ve been on a quest to work out WHO I AM. 

My mid-forties brought significant changes in my personal life, environment, career, and overall well-being. This period has been crucial for cultivating self-awareness, allowing me to care less about societal expectations and more about personal acceptance.

Reflecting on my life's journey, I see distinct phases: my 20’s focused on financial and career establishment; my 30’s, I transitioned to family life; and my early 40’s were about rediscovering myself while balancing caregiving responsibilities and navigating family dynamics, including neurodiversity.

Now, as I near 50, I'm challenged by new perspectives on creative expression and career path and changes to my body and mind. I recognise the impending shift as my children grow more independent and seek autonomy. The teenage years loom large, marking a new chapter in their lives and mine. 

I became a mother on International Women's Day. This year I celebrate not just my eldest's step into adolescence but also my own journey into motherhood. Despite being considered an "older" new mum, I often find myself marvelling at how quickly time has passed, navigating motherhood with a blend of instinct and improvisation.

I may carry the label of middle-aged, but my spirit feels ageless, sometimes in disbelief at the passage of time, still feeling like I’m in my 20s. Now, more than ever, I realise the invaluable nature of time, an asset that, unlike money, cannot be replenished.

Overall I’m feeling fascinated with this stage of life and curious and open. It’s an interesting time to navigate, and I’m all in. 

I’ve been writing a lot more of late, so expect more musings along these lines, perhaps even a little more frequently.

I'd love to hear from you, dear reader. Whether you've traversed this path before or are just embarking on your own journey, I'm interested in your experiences and reflections during this time in your life. Or have you ever felt pressured to conform and how these instances have influenced your self-perception.

Till next time,

Robyn