The Unspoken Middle Age Saga: Perimenopause and Everything After

Hello, my friends, especially those of the female variety 45-55. But don’t tune out if you’re male—you likely love someone or have someone dear to you who is female, which is worth hearing about!

Lately, I’ve been thinking alot about perimenopause and menopause, and boy, was I underprepared! I’m right in the thick of prime perimenopause territory. Despite it getting more airtime these days, it still feels shrouded in a VIP curtain of secrecy.

Things I ponder:

• How do you know if you’re in it?

• Are the symptoms you’re experiencing due to perimenopause, neurodivergence, a mid-life remix, or a chaotic blend of the trilogy?

• If you're like me, you might spot some classic symptoms but can't pin down what they mean. Is it just a regular Tuesday, or is my body’s thermostat on the fritz because of hormonal changes?

Speaking of changes, have you ever delved into the Maiden, Mother, and Crone archetypes? I hadn't, until this podcast last week—aimed at neurodivergent women but brimming with general insights—guided me into this transformative journey to menopause.

As discussed in the poddy, the transition from Mother to Crone can be quite jarring. "Crone" might not roll off the tongue warmly, but this stage is all about embracing the wisdom we've accumulated. It's a time when life shifts from pouring into others, as in our Mother phase, to nurturing our own needs and desires, owning our experiences, and stepping into our power and gathered wisdom. The term Mother applies even if you’ve never birthed a child—it symbolises a period of growth and nurturing across all aspects of life.

Honestly, it's a bit confronting. The Crone stage reared its head before I felt ready, bringing a fair share of chaos along for the ride. It's hard to welcome a phase that feels like it's barging in uninvited, especially when there's no definitive test to say, "Yep, this cocktail of anxiety, extreme fatigue, dwindling motivation, and erratic moods? That’s perimenopause for you!" It could just as easily be the whirlwind of managing a family, weathering ever-changing crises, and staying afloat in our fast-paced society.

From what I've gathered (while multitasking because, life), perimenopause feels like puberty’s sequel that nobody asked for. And let’s be honest, the original wasn’t a hit for everyone. But at least during puberty, you only had one hormonal teenager to manage—yourself. Perimenopause? It's like juggling fire while blindfolded, especially if you’re raising teens or dealing with life’s other ‘pleasant’ surprises.

Here’s some of what I took away from the podcast:

• Hormonal havoc: The massive impact hormones have on us. We’re talking mood, motivation, cognition, how we process energy and fatigue, and even how we feel pain and hunger.

• Symptoms galore: And not the fun kind. Many women battle symptoms without understanding why, thanks to our less-than-stellar education on hormonal impacts.

• Navigating the transition: It’s crucial to preserve quality of life and maintain the best possible physical and mental health, as experiences can be quite severe, impacting work and relationships.

• Shame and stigma: many are suffering in silence, too ashamed to bring it up to friends or family members, even their GP.

Here’s a fun fact: Over 90% of us were never taught about menopause in any meaningful way. Sixty percent felt blindsided by its impact. And as for aging? Let’s just say the fountain of youth isn’t offering much wisdom or support on women’s health.

The bias in medical research, thriving on ageism and sexism, doesn’t help. Suffering in silence has become too common, with too many of us feeling too embarrassed to seek help or even discuss our experiences. And when we do reach out, we’re often misdiagnosed with anxiety or depression or struggle to express what’s actually happening.

Breaking down the stigma around menopause should have happened yesterday. If we were all clued in earlier, perhaps we’d navigate this with more grace and far less stress.

The World Health Organization lists menopause as a critical consideration for social, psychological, and physical health impacts, and support during the menopausal transition should be an integral part of healthcare. It’s high time for higher awareness and universal healthcare to acknowledge what half the population goes through as more than just an inconvenient blip.

Let’s talk about it—because the more we know, the better prepared we can be to handle the rollercoaster ride of mid-life without losing our sense of humour (or our minds).

Until next time, keep sharing your stories and breaking the silence. It’s the only way we’ll turn the tide on the great hormonal heist of our middle years. And remember, we’re in this together. Please share any wins or learnings you’ve had around this topic. Navigating it is such a minefield.

Robyn xxx