Some days I feel like my ADHD diagnosis isn’t correct...

And others I know for sure it is…

I put that down to the last couple of years I’ve devoted to understanding how my brain works, therapy, self-compassion, and deep diving into neurodivergence, midlife, and perimenopause/menopause. It’s not the same for everyone, and that’s the biggest thing I’ve learned.

Understanding, advocating for myself, and giving myself so much more self-compassion have been pivotal in helping me move through life in a more positive light. I’m grateful that when I got my second diagnosis (because I didn’t believe the first; how very ADHD of me; both were correct), I found a neuro-affirming therapist who helped me understand not just the ADHD mind, but my own.

Here’s the thing: even though my energy is way more grounded these days, less chaotic, less impulsive, thanks to some great techniques and being an awesome pattern recogniser, as well as hormone therapy, understanding how I operate has helped me be less comparative to others.

Neurodivergence, in my mind, isn’t an excuse. It gives me a greater understanding of how and why things are done the way they are. But I never use it as a crutch. It’s not my whole personality or identity; it’s just an awareness of why and how.

This might be an age thing, too. I care less about keeping up with others or belonging, because I can own who I am now. That’s likely down to a therapist who worked with me on my StrengthsFinder IQ Test (fascinating and extremely validating), amongst other deep therapy, but honestly, it might just be midlife giving no cares.

After a wonderful 12-day trip to the South Island of NZ, we’ve come home to a whirlwind: school, living arrangements, back to work, and setting up for a new era in our household. Without going into too much detail, my eldest has embarked on a dream of his, and our house is a lot quieter. Plenty of emotions all around during this shift in dynamics.

In NZ, we got to spend more time with our youngest while our eldest was touring with his rugby team. We only joined for the games, which meant we landed in this unique situation, enjoying time with our daughter while her brother had the trip of a lifetime.

I’m embarking on my #Project50to50 as I near my 50th year, and part of that is fitting all the puzzle pieces together for a fulfilling life. Not just choosing myself, but being the best version of myself so I can be there for my family as we all move into this new era.

That rings especially true right now.

I’ve come back from a fulfilling holiday, packed up my son and sent him off, jumped straight back into school and work, and now I have a head cold. I won’t be back at the gym until next week. That’s life. I’ll just pick up where I left off. My fitness, training, and diet are about a lifestyle and a nursing-home prevention plan, not an obsession.