The Night I Pressed Pause on Mum Mode
What a surprise concert, a massage, and a hotel breakfast taught me about routine, midlife, and letting my kids do more.
Life has felt a little monotonous lately, even though I’ll be the first to admit I thrive on routine.
In this Choose Yourself era, structure has been my saving grace. My ebook is almost ready, and I go deeper into this in the pages, but since November 2024, I’ve released over twenty kilos, found my zest again after months of feeling meh about things that normally bring me joy, calmed inflammation, and rebuilt myself in ways I didn’t think were possible at forty-eight.
As you’ll read in the soon-to-be-released ebook, having pillars and structure, rather than self-abandonment, has been the backbone of my comeback. I discuss in more detail what those pillars look like in real life. Are you on the waitlist? She’s almost here.
The routine and boundaries are here to stay, but this week reminded me that sometimes it’s good to shake things up before life starts feeling like a loop you didn’t choose. But tonight, I will be asleep by 830pm.
Raising kids, being a wife, running a home, working, and just trying to exist in this world can feel wild. And maybe it’s the end-of-year energy, because I’m definitely not the only one limping towards the finish line of 2025, according to friends.
And honestly, whoever said teens are easier than little kids… I need to have a chat. It’s a totally different playing field, and I absolutely did not receive the manual.
Add in solo parenting during the week. Some friends with partners who never travel swear they’d love the space, and I get it, but it’s a blessing and a curse. A lot of noise, a lot of needs, a lot of mental load. And not enough quiet.
I’ve felt tapped out lately. Really tapped out. And I think it’s time to step back and let my kids do more for themselves. Turns out they sometimes do better when I’m not right there, hovering. Today proved that, according to the report from the grandparents.
Recently, I listened to this podcast episode that hit a little too close to home. In My So-Called Midlife, Reshma Saujani talks with economist Corinne Low about what she calls “the squeeze,” that midlife pressure cooker where work, kids, ageing parents, overdue emails, and even the group chat you keep ignoring are all demanding something from you at once.
The part that really stopped me was when Corinne shared research showing that mums today spend more time with their kids than previous generations, even though many of us work more hours than our own mothers did!
No wonder we’re tired.
It made me think about all the ways I lean in, hover, manage, fix, coordinate, and hold everything together, and how maybe stepping back a little might actually give my kids more space to grow and figure things out. It gave me a lot to sit with, especially after these last few months of feeling stretched in every direction.
We’ve started by implementing more autonomy, meal prep, and ownership of jobs. I can’t say it hasn’t been without pushback, but it’s that, or my demise.
Which leads me to the last twenty-four hours.
My husband and I decided to be a little reckless and booked a spontaneous concert and hotel stay in the city. On a school and work night. Truly living on the edge. The grandparents swooped in, as they always do, to lend a hand. Super grateful for that family support.
I left straight from work, said goodbye to the kids and grandparents, and arrived in the city just as he finished work. We checked in, had a shower, some drinks, some dinner, and headed off to a concert at a venue in a part of town we haven’t set foot in for over twenty-five years. It used to be our party hood. Separately. Before we even met. Funny how life loops back around.
There was something so comforting about walking through those old spots. A tiny flash of who we used to be, before mortgages and teen moods and packed lunches and early bedtimes.
We’ve both been feeling the pressure of work and parenting lately, so it was nice to just feel like people again, not mum and dad or two exhausted employees clocking in and out.
We had breakfast at the buffet. He walked across the road to work. I took full advantage of the late checkout to relax in the hotel and reminisce about what it was like to live in hotels during my crew life.
I did some writing, then went for a massage in the hotel salon, as my body has been feeling extra tender after strength training lately. An hour on that table felt like medicine.
Thank goodness for hotel reward points, too, which helped with a reduced-price hotel and meals.
Then I grabbed a quick lunch with the hus, before jumping in the car down the highway, and arrived home just as the kids did. Straight back into the sport shuffle and dinner juggle.
Tomorrow everything goes back to the usual rhythm, but this little circuit breaker was worth every minute. Even though I’m tired, it’s the good tired. The alive tired.
The reminder that sometimes you need one night out of your routine to remember that you used to be a whole person before everyone else needed you.
This reel sums it up:
Before you go, I’d love to know…
When was the last time you felt like a person again, not just the default helper of the house?
Tell me in the comments. I know these stories help all of us feel less alone.
If you haven’t joined the waitlist for my upcoming ebook Choose Yourself, you can add your name here. She’s not far away from arriving, and I can’t wait to share her with you.
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