Table for One

Rediscovering the Joy of Your Own Company

I haven’t been posting as much peri/meno content lately. Honestly, I’d had my fill for a bit, and I needed to walk my talk. But I’ll be sharing more soon as I approach my one-year anniversary on HRT, along with the huge lifestyle changes I’ve been weaving in to support this transition. Not every woman struggles through this phase of life, but for me, it has been a time of enormous growth; physically, mentally, and emotionally. I chose not to just accept what was happening, but to deep-dive and find ways to improve my quality of life. No, I’ll never be 20 or 30 again (and that’s not the point), but learning how to best support myself, and sharing what I’ve learned, has been nothing short of incredible.

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Lately, I've been doing something that feels a little rebellious: showing up to things completely alone.

A couple of months ago, it was an art exhibition and sound healing event. As I was committing to go, my mind immediately went to several friends who would love this kind of thing. But then I caught myself.

What if... I just went by myself?

The thought felt both terrifying and thrilling.

The Art of Being Unencumbered

Here's what I discovered: when you show up solo, you're completely unencumbered. There's no one to check in with, no one whose energy you need to manage, no one whose pace you need to match. You can follow your curiosity wherever it leads. Oh and leave if/when things start getting a little too much.

At that exhibition, I found myself in deep conversation with a new friend and reconnecting with a longstanding friend, something that might never have happened if I'd been focused on the person I had taken’s experience instead of my own.

A far cry from when I wrote about wanting to be invisible…

Solo Walks, Solo Revelations

I've always loved walking with friends (it's honestly one of my favourite things), but recently I've been prioritising solo walks too. There's something magical that happens when you're alone with your thoughts and the rhythm of your own footsteps.

Just last month, I found myself extending my usual route to hit the beach, then wandering down the busy street of cafes and boutiques that I'd somehow never actually explored before. I ducked into a bookstore, browsed a delicatessen, and ended up grabbing coffee and a sandwich from the trusty 7-Eleven (hey, the budget-conscious girl in me isn't going anywhere!)

None of this was planned. It was pure spontaneity, something that's harder to access when you're coordinating with another person's agenda.

Last Thursday, I attended a business networking event to support a friend who was presenting.

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A post shared by @robynjlaw

My initial thought was to invite some friends who I know would also gain value from the event; however, when I sat with it again, I thought, I want to be untethered to another’s experience.

And it paid off. When I arrived, I couldn’t see my friend at first, but I started talking with someone who was also alone. We got chatting, and we both are working on very similar personal projects, and just by speaking about our projects, he helped me work through a roadblock I had been facing, and I met a new friend.

The Comfort Zone Challenge

I saw a post recently from a woman who was eating dinner alone at a restaurant while travelling. She wrote: "Just because a lot of people love drinking & partying on holiday doesn't mean you have to. I enjoy the simpler things in life – some might call it boring, but I say it's perfectly OK!"

Her words resonated with me because they capture something we don't talk about enough: the pressure to always be social, always be "on," and always have someone with you to validate that what you're doing is worthwhile.

But what if being alone with yourself is actually one of the most valuable skills you can develop?

The Solo Date Revolution

Do you ever just... date yourself?

I'm talking about intentionally planning something delightful that's just for you. Not running errands (even creative ones), not being productive, not multitasking. Just pure enjoyment in your own company.

This might look like:

• Trying that new café you've been curious about

• Seeing a live music act

• Taking yourself to a matinee movie

• Wandering through a farmers’ market with no agenda

• Sitting in a park with a book you've been wanting to read

• Exploring a neighbourhood you've never been to

Why We Resist Going Solo

Let's be honest about why this feels uncomfortable at first:

We worry about what people think. Will they assume I have no friends? Will they feel sorry for me?

We've lost touch with our own preferences. When we're constantly accommodating others, we forget what we actually enjoy.

We're afraid of our own thoughts. Being alone means there's nowhere to hide from ourselves.

We've been conditioned to believe solo = lonely. But there's a huge difference between being alone and being lonely.

The Gift of Your Own Company

Here's what I've learned: when you become comfortable being alone with yourself, you become infinitely more interesting to be around. You know what you like, you're not constantly seeking external validation, and you bring a centred energy to every interaction.

Plus, you discover things about yourself that only emerge in solitude. The way you naturally walk when no one's watching. The thoughts that bubble up when you're not managing conversation. The pace that actually feels right for your nervous system.

Your Solo Assignment

This week, I challenge you to plan one solo date. It doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive. It just needs to be something that sounds appealing to you, not something you think you should enjoy, but something that genuinely sparks your curiosity.

And if you're feeling inspired to take this even further, I've been exploring Julia Cameron's concept of "Artist Dates" as part of a Creative Recovery program I'm running. These weekly solo dates are specifically designed to feed your creative consciousness and reconnect you with your authentic voice.

Want to learn more about Artist Dates and Creative Recovery? Check out my latest post about The Artist's Way and what constitutes a proper Artist Date here.

What Constitutes an Artist Date

The beautiful thing about going solo is that you're never really alone, you're in the best possible company: your own.

So, what's calling to you this week? Where will you take yourself on a date?

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What's your favourite solo activity? I'd love to hear about your solo adventures in the comments below.

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