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The Guilt of Putting Yourself First

Robyn Law — Tue, 02 Sep 2025 20:00:59 GMT

"Where are my school uniforms? Why haven't you done this? Why haven't you done that?"

This morning, I awoke to the familiar demands of family life after spending a blissful weekend away with one of my oldest friends. (She wants me to tell you she’s not 100; we’re the same age, ha, but we’ve known each other a long time.)

Today, the contrast was so jarring it felt like a slap in the face, a harsh return to reality that left me questioning why taking time for ourselves as women feels so revolutionary.

The Sweet Escape

Let me tell you about this weekend, because it was exactly what my soul needed.

I flew into Newcastle from Brisbane on Friday afternoon, immediately flooded with memories from my flight attendant days at Virgin Blue. The last time I flew into Newcastle was 2004, when I flew a well-known Aussie "Gladiator" actor who was hands-down the rudest passenger I'd ever encountered. But that's another story.

Both of us mamas needed time out from our usual lives, to decompress, reconnect, and rest without anyone or anything else demanding our attention. How revolutionary is that concept? Taking a break from grocery shopping, meal prepping, and washing endless school uniforms to worry about no one but yourself, even if it's only for a couple of days.

We spent Saturday morning lazily over breakfast at a café, sightseeing through Anna Bay (which looked surprisingly like Middle Eastern dunes), and indulging in what I can only describe as sacred nana nap time. Saturday night brought us to Shoal Bay Country Club for a seafood feast in what is honestly a gorgeous part of the world.

Sunday delivered the perfect finale: a hike up Mt Tomaree with the best pain au chocolate pastry I've ever had (no more supermarket versions for me, I’m ruined) from the local Nelson Bay bakery, followed by bacon and eggs at home, and ending with an Aperol Spritz at the marina before sharing pizza and prosecco.

It was simple. It was nurturing. It was exactly what we both needed.

The plan included some writing time (we both have creative projects we're working on), and while we did some brainstorming, it was really about rest, connection, and just being present with each other and the beautiful scenery.

If you're inspired to plan your own Nelson Bay getaway, you can actually stay at the same gorgeous apartment we did, my friend rents it out here.

Nelson Bay Air BNB

The Reality Slap

Monday afternoon, I arrived home just as the kids returned from school. Reality didn't wait for a gentle transition.

With my energy already waning over the last month (we've been experimenting with my testosterone dosages), I was tired but pushed out the family's favourite chicken roast dinner before crashing by 7 PM.

Then came Tuesday morning. The demands. The expectations. The immediate assumption that because I was back, everything should magically be handled.

It was like a slap in the face.

Nothing that a Tuesday morning gym class, a 5km walk, and coffee with a friend didn't eventually fix, it really highlighted how different those two worlds felt.

When Society Would "Collapse"

Here's something that really got me thinking: I once shared a Sunrise segment about Monique van Tulder's "Adult Gap Year" with my husband. His response was telling; he worried that if all women took extended time for themselves, society would struggle to function as a realisation of all that we do.

Maybe weekend getaways for recharging instead?

Thank you, I'll take that.

But this exchange made me realise something: isn't it telling that the idea of women taking extended time for themselves is seen as a threat to social order? Weekend getaways be like they're radical acts of rebellion rather than basic human needs for rest and restoration?

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The Permission We Don't Need (But Think We Do)

What struck me most about this weekend wasn't just how good it felt to prioritise my own needs, it was how guilty I felt for enjoying it so much. How revolutionary it seemed to spend three days thinking primarily about my own comfort, interests, and well-being.

We've been so conditioned to be the managers of everyone else's lives that taking time to manage our own feels selfish. We've been so trained to be constantly available that being unavailable for a weekend feels like abandoning our posts.

But here's what I know after that gorgeous weekend and that eye-opening Tuesday morning: We need both.

We need the space to remember who we are when nobody needs anything from us. We need the reminder of what it feels like to move through days at our own pace, following our own interests, having conversations that aren't about logistics or problem-solving for others.

And yes, we need to return to our responsibilities, but we also need to return with full tanks rather than empty ones.

The Radical Act of Rest

Taking time for yourself isn't selfish; it's essential. It's sustainable.

It's not abandoning your family. It's modelling for them what healthy self-care looks like.

It's not neglecting your responsibilities. It's ensuring you have the energy to handle them from a place of abundance rather than depletion.

The fact that a weekend away with a friend feels revolutionary says more about our culture's expectations of women than it does about the reasonableness of our needs.

Your need for rest is not negotiable. Your need for connection beyond family logistics is valid. Your need to remember who you are outside of your caregiving roles is essential.

So here's your permission slip (not that you need it, but sometimes we like to see it in writing):

Take the weekend away. Book the coffee date. Protect the evening for yourself. Schedule the solo walk. Plan the overnight with friends.

Society won't collapse. The uniforms will eventually get washed. The family will figure it out.

And you? You'll return with something precious: the reminder that you're not just everyone's solution, you're someone worth caring for too.

What's your version of Nelson Bay calling to you right now?

Can't get away for a weekend right now? I understand completely, sometimes life's logistics make physical escapes impossible. But what if you could create space to remember who you are without leaving home? We started our completely free 12-week Artist's Way creative recovery journey this Monday, and it's never too late to join us. Through daily morning pages and weekly artist dates, you'll carve out sacred time for yourself right where you are.

Join our gentle group here

Join our live chat room here

Join our gentle accountability group and discover that sometimes the most profound journeys happen three pages at a time.

P.S. - If the idea of taking time for yourself brings up guilt, resistance, or that familiar voice that says "I don't have time for that," you're exactly the woman who needs to read this twice and book something beautiful for yourself this week.

Four Years Later

Robyn Law — Sun, 20 Jul 2025 23:50:31 GMT

Well, hey there! I took a week's break from posting because school holidays and interstate guests have been keeping me busy. Although I have a stack of drafts ready to go, I just felt we both needed a week off <3

Yesterday marked four years since we were released from mandatory hotel quarantine in July 2021 in Brisbane, Australia.

After over 16 years abroad, our hand was forced, and we made the decision to permanently relocate back to our country of origin, Australia.

Well, hasn't it been a whirlwind.

Although we had been pondering our return home for some time before making the decision, citing high school opportunities, greater prospects for our kids, and a desire to be around family, we hadn't secured a timeline that suited us. Then the pandemic forced our family apart.

Saudi Arabia, where my husband worked, took a very serious approach and locked their citizens and residents in and out with no excuses. I was stuck on the other side of the border with the kids, virtual homeschooling with no end in sight.

Almost a year to the day that we were forcibly separated, we made the trek home to Australia with no jobs or concrete plans. And it wasn't straightforward departing either.

With Australia drastically decreasing their caps into the country, we were stuck at our departure airport, being told by the airport manager that it was looking unlikely we'd be able to leave. We'd sold up, moved out of our home, quit jobs, and had nowhere else to go. This was almost vomit-inducing.

Our story wasn't unique. Many Australians and people from other nationalities faced significant uncertainty during this time, and many of us are still paying the economic and well-being costs, to name just two consequences.

So, how is it, four years on?

What’s So Great About Bali?

Robyn Law — Sun, 04 May 2025 22:00:54 GMT

When we first packed our bags for a ten-day Easter break in Bali, we didn’t know it would stretch into a much more extended stay (thanks to a surprise medical hiccup; story for another day).

And after being here for nearly three weeks, a few people have asked me:

What is it about Bali that you love so much?

Now, I’m no Bali guru. The last time we travelled here was pre-COVID in 2017. When I travel anywhere more than once, I tend to find my favourites and stick to them as a creature of habit. But with the gift of extra time this trip, we’ve started wandering further than usual, and I’ll share more on those little side adventures soon.

But in the meantime, here’s why we keep coming back:

The top reasons we love Bali:

The proximity.
Bali is a quick, easy international getaway for Aussies, especially Western Australians. In fact, it’s often cheaper to fly here than to the other side of our own country. For us Queenslanders, it’s just a six-hour flight. That’s nothing when it buys you a passport stamp, a full cultural change, and warm weather on tap.
The people.
Balinese hospitality is warm, generous, and genuine. There’s something deeply grounding about being in a place where smiles come easily, and kindness is everywhere, even when things don’t go to plan.
The price range.
Bali can be as luxe or as laid-back as you like. Five-star resorts? Got them. Private villas with pools? Easy. Budget-friendly hotels within walking distance to everything? Yep. You could eat out every day, have laundry done, and have daily massages, and still spend less than a weekend away at home.
The food.
The food scene is unreal. From warungs serving fragrant nasi campur to Insta-perfect cafés with smoothie bowls and oat milk lattes, you’ll find everything. You can order a steak, a vegan laksa, sushi, or a wood-fired pizza, sometimes all from the same beach hut kitchen. And if you don’t feel like leaving your villa, there’s always Gojek. Open the app, scroll endlessly, and have your favourites delivered in under an hour, often for less than the price of a coffee back home.
The beaches.
Yes, Australia has some of the best beaches in the world. But Bali brings something else: warm waves, buzzing beach bars, perfect beginner surf, and a dreamy mix of locals, expats, and holidaymakers. Whether you want to boogie board with the kids, take a surf lesson, or just lounge under an umbrella with a coconut, there’s space for it all.
The sunsets.
I know Perth gets its fair share, but over on the east coast, we don’t see the sun drop into the sea. Here, every night becomes an event. Golden hour hits, music starts, and people gather on bean bags, bar stools, and loungers to watch the sky do its thing.
Shopping!
I can’t believe I nearly forgot this. The shopping in Bali is a mix of boutique, boho, and bargain. Think handmade jewellery, flowy dresses, kids’ clothes, leather bags, rattan homewares, and yep, even knock-off Birks if you're that way inclined. I defy anyone to leave Bali without something new in their suitcase.
Massages.
I’ve developed a bit of a ritual, a pre-bedtime hour-long foot reflexology session. And the best part? There’s usually a massage place within a few minutes’ walk, no matter where you’re staying, a villa or a hotel. For around $10, you get a full hour of dedicated foot love. Honestly, it feels criminal not to go.
Something for everyone.
Bali is a choose-your-own-adventure kind of place. Chill. Surf. Party. Shop. Yoga. Eat. Explore. Whether you're travelling solo, with your kids, your partner, or a whole extended family, everyone will find something they love, and no one will be bored for long.
Medical care, if you need it.
We’ve stress-tested this one. With decent travel insurance, you’ll find high-quality clinics and international hospitals with English-speaking staff, quick appointments, and professional care. It’s reassuring to know it’s there, even if you hope not to need it.

Know someone who wants to travel to Bali? Send this post their way.

We’re still here. Still sweating. Still eating. Still discovering little gems we wouldn’t have found if we’d stuck to our original timeline.

There’s something special about Bali that’s hard to explain unless you’ve been, and even then, it’s different for everyone. But for us? It’s the mix. The energy. The ease. The way it lets you slow down without missing out.

If you’ve been thinking about a trip, this is your gentle nudge.
It’s not just a holiday. It’s a vibe.

Let me know if you want to know more about our trip, and I’ll do my best to answer your questions.

I’ve got lots of links, locations, and to-dos coming over the coming weeks, so watch out for it all.

Before Smartphones and Swiping Right: My Flight Crew House in Hounslow

Robyn Law — Sun, 27 Apr 2025 22:00:26 GMT

If you’re here for the peri/menopause content, that will be hitting your inbox on Wednesday.

But for now, I’m sharing some more retro Travel Tales as I’m enjoying the writing, and it seems to be resonating with you also.

You can’t box me in 😉

We’re still in Bali; we were supposed to leave here last week, but life had other plans. Maybe I’ll share that