If you’ve been around here for a while, you’ll know that’s a big deal. Because for most of my life, I have loudly, proudly declared that I am not a runner. Running was for other people. People who didn’t panic-breathe, as if they were being chased. People who didn’t flash back to school sports carnivals every time their lungs started burning.

My talent was belting a softball and being the mouthy catcher. Not running.

And yet. Here we are.

Ten weeks in. Twice a week. A 10km event is locked in for May. And something quietly shifting in how I think about myself.

Which brings me to something I’ve been sitting with lately, this idea that identity drives behaviour far more than willpower ever will.

I didn’t start running because I forced myself. I didn’t make a resolution or download a program in January, full of good intentions. It happened because something in me decided, almost without my noticing, to try on a new identity.

And once I started calling myself a runner, even tentatively, even with the puffing and the doubt and the “I nearly stopped today”, my decisions started to follow.

Early to bed the night before a run. Workout clothes laid out at the end of my bed. Running route planned. Shoes by the door. Not because I’m disciplined. Because that’s what runners do. And apparently now, I’m a runner.

This is the thing nobody tells you about change. We think we need to do things differently before we can be different. But it actually works the other way around.

You decide who you are first. Then you act from that place.

And I want to stop here for a second because I think this might be the missing piece for a lot of us.

Have you ever started something with the best intentions and then just… fallen off? The eating plan that worked for two weeks. The gym routine that lasted a month. The morning routine you were absolutely nailing until you weren’t. The boundary you set that quietly disappeared under enough pressure.

And then you told yourself you were lazy. Undisciplined. That you just couldn’t stick to things.

But what if it wasn’t about discipline at all?

What if the plan was never the problem because the identity never shifted?

Because here’s what I’ve noticed. When I was just “someone trying to get fit,” rest days felt like failure. Missed sessions felt like proof I couldn’t do it. Every imperfect week was evidence that I wasn’t cut out for it.

But when I became an athlete someone who trains for her health, her bones, her future, rest days became part of the plan. A missed session was just a missed session, not a character flaw. Because athletes don’t quit. They adjust.

The identity held the behaviour in place in a way that motivation never could.

So if you’ve fallen off a plan you really wanted to stick to I’d gently ask: did you ever actually decide to be that person? Or were you just trying to do the things, hoping the identity would follow?

It doesn’t work that way. The identity has to come first.

And here’s what’s got me really excited because this isn’t just about fitness. You can apply this question to every single area of your life.

How would a cool mum handle this moment? Not the mum who loses it over the wet towel on the floor for the fourth time this week. The cool mum. The one her kids will actually talk to about the hard stuff one day. Would she pick this battle? Would she say it with humour instead of heat? Honestly, asking that question mid-argument with a teenager has saved me more than once.

How would a woman who respects her own time respond to that request? The one that makes you resentful before you’ve even said yes. How would she answer? Probably not with an automatic yes and a quiet seethe.

How would a strong, healthy woman fuel herself today? Not perfectly. Not with restriction or guilt. But intentionally. Like someone who actually gives a damn about being around and capable for the long haul.

How would a woman who believes in her own work show up today? Would she shrink in that meeting? Would she discount her prices again? Would she apologise before she’d even said anything?

How would a good daughter handle this situation with her aging parent? With patience, she has to consciously choose. With presence instead of her phone (I’m still working on this). With the understanding that this season is finite, she’ll want to have shown up well.

The identity question cuts through the noise in a way that motivation and willpower simply don’t. Because motivation is a feeling it comes and goes. But identity is a decision. And decisions stick.

I’m not the most natural runner. I’m slow. I manage the heat. I negotiate with myself through the hard kilometres. But I show up twice a week without question. And I’m starting to understand that’s exactly what runners do.

So yes. I am a runner.

Now I want to ask you something and I want you to actually sit with it for a moment.

Is there an area of your life where you keep falling off the plan? Where you’ve tried and restarted and tried again and can’t figure out why it won’t stick?

Have you shifted the identity or have you just been changing the plan?

Drop it below. I think this conversation could be a really good one. 👇

I had been toying with the idea after chats with my exercise physiologist, but had yet to pull the trigger.

Until my parents came to stay over Christmas and New Year, and my dad, a 70-year-old ex-army and current personal trainer for over-50s, was up at 4 am every day to get his steps and runs in.

He gently encouraged me to join him for a run.

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Lately, I’ve been quietly having more and more conversations with women who say,

“I thought it was just me.”

Some are already on the other side of it.
Some are standing right at the beginning, wondering if this is what they are experiencing now.

And almost all of them say the same thing.

“I’m so relieved these conversations are finally happening.”

Because st…

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Just over a year ago, I was tiptoeing back into my beloved gym after a long break.
Years, actually.

Chronic fatigue. Depression. A body with joint pain that felt heavy and unpredictable.
I deeply missed movement, but I didn’t have the energy or joy to meet it.

What I didn’t know at the time was that the flatness, the exhaustion, the itchy skin, urinary urge…

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I’ve always thought of January as a practice month.

I’ve never been great at flicking a switch from Christmas straight into goals, routines and forward motion. I need the buffer. The pause between Christmas and New Year. The soft landing before the year really begins.

February is where it starts for me.

This year, especially, that space felt…

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Last month, I reached a milestone I’m deeply proud of.
It marked twelve months of consciously choosing myself.

Not in the fluffy, self-care hashtag kind of way, but in the real, uncomfortable, healing kind of way. The kind that asks you to set boundaries, say no, rest more, and stop apologising for needing time.

A year of listening to my body instead of fi…

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I’d never heard the word adenomyosis until I was told I had it.

In 2023, after months of heavy, energy-sapping periods that were getting worse by the cycle, I finally had a pelvic ultrasound. I was 45, and what I thought was just “getting older” turned out to be something else entirely.

When I say heavy, I don’t mean “a bit more than usual.” I mean crime scene heavy. Not being able to leave the house on day one or two because I’d bleed through a tampon and pad within 20 minutes. Having to sleep with towels under me. Getting up multiple times a night to change tampons. Planning my life around my period because it had become that unpredictable and unmanageable.

The ultrasound results came back with one unfamiliar word: adenomyosis.

It’s a mouthful, but here’s what it means: the tissue that normally lines your uterus (the stuff that sheds during your period) starts growing into the muscular wall of the uterus itself. So every month, instead of that lining neatly shedding, it thickens and bleeds inside the muscle, causing inflammation, swelling, pain, and that relentless, heavy bleeding.

No wonder my iron was in the basement.

Until quite recently, adenomyosis was something many women were only diagnosed with after a hysterectomy, when the tissue could be examined under a microscope. Which meant for decades, most of us were told it was “just heavy periods” or “normal for your age.”

Now, with advances in high-resolution pelvic ultrasounds and MRIs, more women are finally getting answers earlier.

And unsurprisingly, the majority of those diagnoses are happening in our 40s, the decade where hormones start to fluctuate wildly and where pregnancies, births, and uterine procedures may have left their mark.

By this stage of life, our bodies have been through a lot and those microscopic pathways between the uterine lining and muscle wall can form more easily. Add in surges of oestrogen during perimenopause and you’ve got the perfect storm for adenomyosis to make itself known.

At first, my treatment plan was to regulate my hormones with a birth control pill called Qlaira. My gynaecologist offered me HRT at this time too, but I was scared to take it. I thought menopause and this stage of life were “natural”, something to be embraced, not medicated. Plus, I’d heard the word. HRT was cancer-causing and dangerous. Or so I thought.

I thought I could just power through.

Qlaira mimics a healthy menstrual cycle, with changing doses of estrogen and progestin throughout the month. The idea was to regulate my hormones and ease the bleeding. The reality? For six months, I lived with a headache or, on the lucky days, a migraine. I didn’t realise until I came off it that the pill was the culprit.

So, I did what so many women do: I learned to live with the heavy bleeding. I designed my life around my period. My tracker told me when I was due, and I’d make sure I didn’t have much planned on those days. Not ideal, but it was the only way to stay functional.

Two years later, at 47, my “regular” periods suddenly became… irregular. I went from clockwork cycles to nothing. 100 days without a bleed. After a panicked pregnancy test to rule out a surprise baby, I did a menopause scorecard, and my gynaecologist confirmed what I hadn’t expected to hear so soon:

I was in the late stages of perimenopause.

That shocked me. I thought perimenopause could drag on for five to ten years, and that menopause didn’t usually hit until around 51. I couldn’t quite get my head around the idea that my fertile years were almost over.

So I finally started HRT, something I’ve already written a bit about. Not just because I hadn’t bled for 100 days but this was further confirmation I was deep in peri. Having a super high score on the menopause symptom scorecard was the clincher. I’ve shared a bit about my symtpoms, but you can listen again here if you like.

At first, I tried the standard Prometrium (a natural progesterone), but I couldn’t tolerate it. Then I was offered Slinda, a progestin-only birth control pill. One of its side effects? It stops bleeding altogether.

Which, for me, was both a blessing and a bit of a head spin. After years of flooding through pads and planning my life around my period, suddenly I wasn’t bleeding at all. My iron levels stabilised. My energy improved. My washing machine got a break.

Slinda is also used for women with PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) or mood fluctuations, and it’s had great success in regulating hormones and improving mood stability. Something I’ve definitely noticed.

So while it’s a little odd not knowing exactly where I am in my cycle anymore, I’ll take it. The positives far outweigh the negatives.

We don’t talk enough about how confusing this middle stage of life can be. One minute you’re bleeding like a stuck pig, the next you’ve gone 100 days without a period, and you’re Googling “can you get pregnant in perimenopause.”

Adenomyosis, hormones, perimenopause, it’s all connected. And it’s only when we start sharing these stories that more women realise what’s actually normal (and what’s not).

Because we deserve more than to be told to “just put up with it.”

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Years ago, I had done an online version where you send through some selfies and a stylist analyses them, but the problem with that is… photos lie. Lighting, filters, shadows; they all play tricks on the eye. The top you’re wearing or even the wall behind you can throw everything off. So while I got something helpful out of that experience, I always had a sneaking suspicion it wasn’t the full story.

This time, I booked in with Jade, a Colour Analyst from The Seasonal Stylist on the Sunshine Coast. What made her approach different is that she does some of her sessions in a salon, which means you can literally hold up swatches of hair colour next to your face as well as fabric drapes. For me, that was the real pull.

Because while a lot of people get their colours done so they know what clothes to buy, for me, it was more about hair.

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What I am good at (hello, ADHD) is hyperfocus. Especially when something is really impacting me or my…

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Earlier in the year, I decided to take a proactive approach to managing and supporting my body for aging well. And in doing so, I decided to have a DEXA scan to get a baseline for where my muscle mass, bone density and fat distribution were at.

Often, we're advised to have a DEXA scan when it's already too late and we've got osteopenia or osteoporosis. By knowing my starting point, I can take steps to prevent and avoid complications as I age. A DEXA scan is a simple, non-invasive way to measure your bone density, muscle mass, and body fat distribution.

Back in June, I wrote about undergoing my first DEXA scan as part of what I referred to as my "rebuild phase."

If you want to read more about that first, you can read it here.

Three months later, I'm back with my 3-month follow-up results from last week, and honestly, I'm still processing what they mean, but it's looking good.

The numbers that matter:

• My body fat is down: 36.7% → 33.1% (3.6% decrease)

• Fat mass lost: 4.47kg over three months

• Muscle mass: Essentially maintained (lost only 295g)

• Visceral fat: 124cm² → 92.5cm² (moved from "increased risk" to "normal")

• Bone density: Not only maintained but slightly improved

My doctor (an exercise physiologist) called it "80% improvement in metrics over three months."

However, what those numbers don't capture is the entire picture…

The reality behind the results

The past three months weren't a fitness success montage. Some days training felt harder than others, and my consistency with walking was actually worse than before June's DEXA.

Yet my body was still responding positively to the changes I was able to make. The visceral fat reduction alone, moving from "increased risk" to "normal" range, significantly lowers my risk for cardiovascular and metabolic diseases.

That's not vanity metrics; that's health span.

What actually worked

Looking back, a few things made the difference:

• Showing up to the gym. Even when training felt hard, I showed up. Maybe my workouts weren't always strong, but on some days they were, and other days I just showed up. Some days, my 100% meant hitting every exercise with energy to spare. Other days, my 100% was dragging myself to the gym and doing whatever felt possible. Both versions got me to these results. My exercise physiologist emphasised progressive overload in strength training.

• Professional guidance. This wasn't a DIY experiment. Having someone interpret my scans, adjust my program, and monitor my progress made all the difference between spinning my wheels and actual results. I'm happy to report that, as a weight management coach, most of the guidance wasn't far off from what I have been trained to provide.

• Measuring what matters. Tracking visceral fat and muscle mass rather than just scale weight gave me a clearer picture of what was actually happening in my body.

The perimenopause plot twist

Here's what I find most interesting: these improvements happened during perimenopause, when everything we're told suggests our bodies should be working against us. Declining estrogen, slower metabolism, and increased fat storage around the middle are all the things that make midlife women feel like they're fighting uphill.

But my results suggest that with the right approach, we can work with our changing bodies rather than against them. The key seems to be getting specific about what needs attention (hence the DEXA scan) and having professional support to navigate the complexities.

What's next

I have a plan for continuing this momentum, and I'll be sharing more about my overall approach when I hit my 12-month mark in November.

The bigger picture

These three months reinforced something I've been thinking about a lot: the importance of measuring and monitoring during perimenopause rather than just accepting that everything goes to hell after 40.

Gathering baseline data, whether through a DEXA scan, comprehensive blood work, or collaborating with experts, provides a concrete foundation to work with. You're not guessing anymore; you're responding to actual information about your body.

The results also remind me that our bodies are more resilient and responsive than we often give them credit for, even during hormonal transitions. But they also require more intentional support than they did in our 20s and 30s.

If you're considering a DEXA scan or feeling stuck with your health during perimenopause, here's what I'd suggest:

1. Get baseline measurements before making changes

2. Work with professionals who understand midlife women's physiology

3. Focus on body composition, not just weight

4. Be prepared for non-linear progress

5. Address energy and nutrition alongside exercise

The conversation I want to have:

Have you noticed changes in how your body responds to exercise and nutrition during perimenopause? What measurements or markers have been most helpful for tracking your health? Are there specific challenges you're facing that feel different from when you were younger?

Hit reply and let me know, I'm always learning from your experiences too.

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When did we all become so good at disappearing from our own lives?

I've been thinking about this question a lot lately. How we become so skilled at being everyone's everything that we forget we're supposed to be someone to ourselves, too.

You know that feeling when you can't remember the last time you did something purely because you wanted to? When your …

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There was a time not so long ago when I sat across from my doctor and said, “I don’t know who I am anymore.”

I’d always been the positive one. The everything-is-figureoutable girl. The one who could take a hard moment and flip it into a lesson, a laugh, or a laminated list of things to try next. But the version of me that moved back to Australia a few ye…

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One of the most surprising gifts of menopause?
It’s the giant, flashing invitation to set healthy boundaries.

Because suddenly, all those places where you didn’t have them;

• where you gave too much,

• said yes when you meant no,

• or tolerated what you shouldn’t have,

start to feel completely unsustainable. What we used to grin and bear now leaves us drained, sn…

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Recently, I had my very first DEXA scan. If you’ve never heard of it, it’s a simple, non-invasive way to measure your bone density, muscle mass, and body fat distribution. I decided to do it because I’m in what I call my rebuild phase after a few years of not feeling great. I’m working on improving my health, strength, and vitality as I edge through per…

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There’s a fascinating side conversation I’ve noticed lately. A certain group of women, often over 60 and through the menopause tunnel, who seem to feel that those of us speaking up about perimenopause and menopause now are exaggerating, over-medicalising, or making a fuss about nothing.

Before I hit the peri party myself, I have to admit I didn’t know qu…

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There’s been a lot of menopause chatter lately. Maybe you’ve seen it too. Some people are wondering if all this talk about menopause is overkill. That perhaps it’s creating fear where there shouldn’t be any. I came across a post from Dr Gillian Jackson on Instagram that really got me thinking. She asked:

“Is it just me or is everyone else’s feed also ful…

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I regularly spend a portion of my time answering questions and hearing from friends and readers, whether here on Substack, on Instagram, or on Facebook. Because it’s what I really needed but never had when I was neck deep in all the symptoms. The messages often sound like this:

“I’m experiencing massive panic attacks, crippling anxiety, I’m so hot all the time and I just can’t seem to focus. Do you think this is perimenopause or just life?”

“I’ve had shingles recently across my eye and head. I feel like I’m drowning in it all — the mental load, my self-care, my bones ache, and I’ve had frozen shoulder for what feels like forever.”

“Do I see a GP or do I need a referral to a gynaecologist? Do you have recommendations for either?”

“WOW! I’m only just starting to look into this. You’re way ahead of me — thank you for replying!”

“Did you try Mirena before other HRT? That’s where they want to send me next.”

“I haven’t had a libido in years and the weight gain is horrific — 30 kg!”

“Did you keep a diary before starting HRT or can you just request it? Is there a ‘Christian Dior’ of HRT or is it all the same? What are you on?”

“I’m so anxious some days. I feel like it’s ruined my career confidence — I change jobs every eight months.”

Are you dealing with one, some, or all of these symptoms, and are you a woman aged between 35 and 50?

• Hot flushes

• Light headed feelings

• Headaches

• Brain fog

• Irritability

• Depression

• Unloved feelings

• Anxiety

• Mood changes

• Sleeplessness

• Unusual tiredness

• Backache

• Joint pains

• Muscle pains

• New facial hair

• Dry skin

• Crawling feelings under the skin

• Less sexual feelings

• Dry vagina

• Uncomfortable intercourse

• Urinary frequency

Maybe, like 30% of Australian women, you’re in the perimenopause or menopause stage of life. Maybe you’ve been blaming your symptoms on work, stress, family life, the economy, or the general chaos of modern living. That’s what I did for years.

But here’s the thing: it might be your hormones. And if it is, you deserve support, understanding, compassion, and relief.

I’ve done the deep dive because I had to. You can read or listen to my Peri story below. But before you do, here’s a snapshot of some of my symptoms, some of which I didn’t even connect to perimenopause until I joined the dots backwards:

• 2am regular wake-ups

• Daytime and middle of the night urinary urgency

• Heavier periods that became longer in duration

• Itchy butt crack and groin — really itchy

• Sore feet — like, really sore, it would feel like walking on glass

• Psoriasis flare-up — so bad my scalp would flake onto my shirt without needing to move my head

• Extremely dry skin after a lifetime of oily skin and scalp

• Panic attacks out of nowhere, including a heaviness on my chest, most of the day

• Loss of joy for life and things I used to love, including exercise

• Extreme fatigue — nothing helped (not coffee, energy drinks, B vitamins, iron, or liver tablets)

• Rapid weight gain around my middle, despite knowing how to eat well

• Social anxiety and general anxiety, not wanting to leave the house, and waking up with a panicked feeling without any reason

• Headaches and migraines

The good news? I have hardly any of these anymore, or they’re a lot milder.

I didn’t want to accept that what I was feeling was my new normal. I wanted to figure out how to function again and rebuild my quality of life.

Sure, I had to come to terms with the fact that I’m no longer in my twenties (the energy! the ambition! the skin, ha!), but I wasn’t going to take this lying down like I had been for far too long.

They say the first symptom of perimenopause is denial.

heyjessblom

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I believe that’s because no one teaches us about it. The menopause chatter is getting louder now, thank goodness, because yes, this is a normal life stage, but it’s not normal to go through it in a society that pretends it doesn’t exist, expects us to manage the unequal load or doesn’t value older women.

hormones.on.the.blink

A post shared by @hormones.on.the.blink

Here’s what I suggest, based on what helped me:

I cannot stress enough the importance of Step 1. Everyone I’ve suggested to do it, after they’ve wondered, been curious or just thought maybe, and how high their score was, even compared to mine. It really gives concrete evidence of exactly what’s going on!

1. Do a symptom scorecard. It gives you solid evidence to take to your GP when you’re asking for solutions. Here’s the Australian version. Everyone I’ve suggested this to has been surprised and assured they’re not going crazy! It helps to see what’s really going on.

2. If your GP or health professional isn’t menopause-informed, find one who is. Or take a friend for backup; it makes a huge difference.

3. If you score above 20, you’re absolutely entitled to discuss HRT (or MHT). Although every woman’s situation is unique, scores of 20-50 are common in symptomatic women. With the right treatment, tailored to you, scores can be reduced to 10 or below in 3-6 months.

4. If your doctor says you’re too young or that you can’t have HRT, find another doctor.

5. HRT does not cause cancer. The latest evidence shows that for most women, it’s a safe and effective treatment. It’s simply replacing the hormones your body no longer produces — and often, it’s natural too.

   allaboutyou_withdrshaunawatts

   

   A post shared by @allaboutyou_withdrshaunawatts

6. Advocate for yourself. No one else will do it like you can. Understanding what’s happening helps you feel more confident doing this.

7. There’s no one-size-fits-all path. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Work out a plan that suits you, your body, your lifestyle, and your needs.

You’re not alone in this. I’m so glad you’ve found your way here.

Please feel free to comment below or send me a message if you have questions. I’m happy to help. I’m no expert, but women sharing their experiences is how I got the relief I so desperately needed.

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Some (not all) of my favourite resources, if you feel like deep diving too…

• The podcast that unravelled it all for me after being gaslit by my GP - Maybe it’s Menopause with Dr Louise Newson on The Imperfects

• Louise Newson - her podcast and her educational Instagram

• Dear Menopause Podcast - by the lovely and articulate , a cancer survivor and Australian Menopause and Cancer advocate

• Menopause & Peri-Menopause Australia Facebook group - I learnt so much in this group that helped me understand the language and how to advocate including to have the Symptom Scorecard completed before I even stepped foot inside my GP

• Healthy Hormones Community - A free Australian education and support for health professionals and the public

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